So I have been Raw Vegan for a year. How has this changed my life?
Well…my emotions. My emotions are so much more balanced. I used to be on quite the upward and downward spiral, the roller coaster of emotions. I still have emotions. We are humans. We feel. I am also a deeply and highly sensitive person, an empath, so I do feel quite a lot, but the difference now is that I have a choice. I have a choice as to how I handle such feelings.
When I was young, the answer came in food. In came in abusing, overeating and just plain ol’ bingeing on huge quantities of food…to the point where my stomach hurt. But ahh the addict in me was very pleased…because when you do this, over-consume the sugar, fats and carb concoctions that come in modern day vending and packaging, well you “numb out”. You numb your feelings because you never really learned how to feel the in the first place. Or the pain was so much and so great, you didn’t know how else to cope.
So is it a high? Well, it depends on the food and the substance. Some may grant temporary euphoria as your dopamine receptors light up, but I think the overeating/binging is more so a quieting factor, as I said a way to drop out, numb out and disconnect. I’d be curious to know how many people who have been violated, abused or tortured in some way in their small youth end up having eating problems.
As a whole in society we are taught shame and guilt around our bodies. Women have received a lot of this but boys do, too. They are also put under unwanted expectations.
So as a woman today, what have I learned? Well, it was time to wake up and truly heal. A year ago today, I set a new course in my life. I decided it was time to change. I had been speaking of change for sometime. Changes based around my knowing, my intuitive guidance, what I speak and share is of my own volition and I knew I could do it. I had to join a raw vegan support group to aid me in my changes. I had let go of many addictive substances but was still riding on the chocolate sugar-filled bars, which we see as not that bad because cacao can be a health food for some, but for me, it really isn’t. It’s too stimulating on my adrenals and burns me out after sending me high, not to mention the sugar in the bars. That really wasn’t serving any of my health goals. I’m talking energy/fatigue, skin, digestion, immune, etc.
Going through the class was part of how I kept a commitment to myself to eat totally clean, 100% raw vegan for 6 weeks. After that, I didn’t know what I’d do. I figured I may go back but I was going to commit to these 6 weeks of radiant health for myself. A true detox. It wasn’t easy.
When you are a hardcore food addict, it’s not easy to go to the store and see those same foods you are trying to avoid. There were 2 distinct times I remembered during this. One was one of those bad days where you are conditioned to get your “fix” in response. The chocolate bars were calling to me. But I stuck to my conviction. 6 weeks. I just had to make it 6 weeks. And so I did.
Towards the end of my 6 weeks, we took a trip to explore raw places in New York City. There were raw vegan chocolates, made with the best high vibing ingredients, and I thought…well this is “better” or “healthier” I mean I could…but I stuck to my commitment. What has helped greatly is the cultivation of my inner knowing, gut response and well, intuitive eating.
As I approach the food, I can sense whether or not it is good for me. Does it match my vibration? Does it enhance it? Does it clash with it? Those bars sunk my gut low, it tightened and went inwards in response vs. the open relaxation around say an apple. Now does this mean I can’t have anything I want? Not at all, but what I had realized in the process was that this was a true act of self-love. I didn’t know I was hating myself for years. I love me! I was happy or what I thought happiness was, because even still, inside it was always my goal to be “happy”. But before my decision to change, I had realized the act of overeating and eating foods I both intellectually and intuitively knew were not good for me, was a form of self-hatred and self-punishment.
When are we going to stop abusing ourselves and torturing ourselves in the process of life? Everybody makes mistakes! That’s how we learn. It’s also a part of our conditioning. The things that happened to us, whether in this life or another and so, I forgave myself. I asked for deep, deep forgiveness. I learned to love myself from within and life has unfolded from there.
It’s a growing process. It’s an evolution. It’s an experiment. Life. That’s what it is.
So as life went on, 6 weeks passed, and I realized, I was feeling really good, like so happy, emotionally balanced vs. the usual brand of torture I had gotten used to, and I actually finally lost extra weight I had been carrying for a few years. It made me realize something deeper about our own knowing and intuition. I finally followed it and my life blossomed. I have had more intuitions since then to be more active and have more green juice, and so it’s time to work towards that.
Part of the resistance we all experience is the illusion of time – do we have enough? Yes, we do. Life I realize will always have things popping up, so we need to make time for our goals, our passions and our priorities, including our health for the vessel that carries us through this Earth and to do what we are meant to here.
I am also an artist, healer, writer, spiritual teacher. That stuff takes some energy to carry forth and I am so glad this way of being, living, eating has granted me the energy, courage and wherewithal to do such activities. But as I said, I am still journeying, processing and healing for this is my evolution. I can share things, learnings, wisdom, understandings, fun food items, but really what would serve us all now? To love and accept each other where we are in this moment, to love and accept ourselves in this moment. I love myself, do you? Do you respect yourself? Do you honor yourself?
Oh so what did I eat today as a raw vegan? Haha. Fruit. Vegetables. Leafy Greens. Water. Nuts. And Seeds. An avocado may be ripening as we speak for dinner, too!
Love yourself and find your freedom, whatever that means for you. It may be raw vegan, it may be teaching, it may be counseling, it may be traveling. The point is your intuitive landscape is your own guidance system. It is your own periscope down into what you need to know right now. It is your own compass showing you which way to go next. Follow your truth. Follow your path. And I just love you all for taking the time to get to know the REAL YOU! The authentic you, because by God, she is just so freakin’ beautiful!!!!! <3 xoxo 😀